(tent. title) Light the gas

Phase 1 ~ Lovebombing

She walks in eyes down carrying the weight of the day on her

He spots her coming, eyes targeted like a heat seeking missile, through a crowded room, avoiding sound barriers and windows his hand is clinched

To her it looks like protection and tension

Swathing her in enough kindness to dress her for life

Her pragmatism could not defeat his magnetism to her weakness

He pulls the pin and every layer a compliment of warmth and reassurance that at first sight?  She was…

His soulmate

Her soul he’d own for every layer made her the prettiest bag lady

A sight to behold and she would carry every stitch with pride

She wore enough to cover a clothes wrack in Macy’s

Shirts and blouses a bedazzlement with lines such as

“The stars could not be brighter above your eyes.”

A blush and eyes flutter reflecting like strobe lights off of a disco ball the truth is sought

Hidden behind his smile but under his breath a venom is brewing to be released with a kiss

He never kissed in this way and everything that was for her was for him

Everything was different with her like seeing snow for the first time

Life was THAT refreshing

He never loved in this way, or has he?

That was love for her 

KonciouSLea Written ©

A Love New

I wrote this poem 7 years ago for my friends Dale and Paige for their wedding. I was honored to read it when they got married. I had them write to me separately their feelings about each other and I put this together. What was really interesting and awesome was the love they expressed for one another and how there was such an irony in their feelings. They are still together and I am very happy to still be a part of their lives.

Enjoy

Remember a love new

Smiles bright as a sunny sky

Blue hues whisper the news to robins and cardinals who

Sing melodies which echo through

Clinched hands forming the figured heart

They’re walking a journey to not depart

Trees sway to a rhythmic tune, they swoon and park

Staring into eyes that ignite a spark

This brings forth chills from the slightest touch

Flowers bloom, squirrels chase, and rabbits mate

Sounding like when angelic choirs sing

It feels like springtime…without the rain and she says

“I love knowing that I will have you as my best friend for the rest of my life.”

Then he says

“I love you.  You are the person that makes me feel comfortable and relaxed.
Together they say

“We share one heart, one mind and one soul.”

Remember a love new

It never grows old

Like that movie you can watch over and over again

The one where love always wins

Where favorite songs on the radio play

Something like what Bob Dylan would say,

“I could hold you for a million years to make you feel my love.”

Hugs wrapped cocoon tight

Butterflies emerge as fluttered hearts taking to the sky

Fireflies blend with shooting stars

Reminds you of your sweaty palms

Yet fingers interlock and the world continue to spin

As two hearts come together and become one

Then she says

“I love how you seem to always know what I am thinking.”

And he says

“I love that you fill my life with love, warmth and happiness.”

Together they say

“We share one heart, one mind and one soul.”

Remember a love new

It is as timeless as a clock or a poem that rings

“The question has ceased to be how do I love you and has become, how could I ever stop?”

Remember a love new

Smiles bright as a sunny sky

Blue hues whisper the news to robins and cardinals who

Sing melodies which echo through

Clinched hands forming the figured heart

They’re walking a journey to not depart

Trees sway to a rhythmic tune, they swoon and park

Staring into eyes that ignite a spark

This brings forth chills from the slightest touch

Flowers bloom, squirrels chase, and rabbits mate

Sounding like when angelic choirs sing

It feels like springtime…without the rain and she says

“I love knowing that I will have you as my best friend for the rest of my life.”

Then he says

“I love you.  You are the person that makes me feel comfortable and relaxed.
Together they say

“We share one heart, one mind and one soul.”

Remember a love new

It never grows old

Like that movie you can watch over and over again

The one where love always wins

Where favorite songs on the radio play

Something like what Bob Dylan would say,

“I could hold you for a million years to make you feel my love.”

Hugs wrapped cocoon tight

Butterflies emerge as fluttered hearts taking to the sky

Fireflies blend with shooting stars

Reminds you of your sweaty palms

Yet fingers interlock and the world continue to spin

As two hearts come together and become one

Then she says

“I love how you seem to always know what I am thinking.”

And he says

“I love that you fill my life with love, warmth and happiness.”

Together they say

“We share one heart, one mind and one soul.”

Remember a love new

It is as timeless as a clock or a poem that rings

“The question has ceased to be how do I love you and has become, how could I ever stop?”

KonciouSLea Written ©

Jai’elle

 

When you arrived, I got to bear witness
My eyes danced with the brightness of Venus and Mercury and time stops to join me in greeting you
Life could not be more beautiful than you that day
A day of open sunroof’s and windows down but you were perfection
You are the epitome of love as my mind pirouettes whispers of “it’s a baby girl.”
If you are anything like your mother your enthusiasm will exude and transform something not even the world at the time was ready for
A powerful woman
Another voice of a movement that will resound like an acapella choir you would become a melody in your parent’s hearts
The world awaits your growth arabesque like and patient
Still as your giggle echoes, tickling the stars enough for them to Glisser across the sky illuminating a future bright enough for the world to see your greatness
…..and great you will become because
You are Jai’elle Dawn-Marie

 

KonciouSLea Written ©

Junior

The next poems are poems that I am writing my grandchildren.  I will begin each poem the same way and end them with their names.  I am really leaning towards doing a poem and extending it to spoken word pieces.

When you arrived so did I
A new title I become Pap-Pap
The honor and privilege is all mine
You didn’t know but you were born with kings watching over you
1st to take your place for the throne your lineage destines you to lead
Born under Venus and Mercury you shine bright like an emerald
Light green and bright
Personality circulating like air
You are an extension of myself
I slow-mo every moment spent
Boundless energy with optimism and promise to match, you thrive
Like a sunrise you set the example for others to follow
Yet I have so much to teach you
I envision whatever you become because I know that you are destined for greatness
…and great you will become because
You are Patrick Wesley-Omar

 

KonciouSLea Written ©

Fool

 

If I knew then what I know now things would be a lot different
Maybe it would not
What would I change
What would I do differently
What would I learn if I could change the way I did things then
I do know this
If I treated today, the way I did yesterday I would be a fool

KonciouSLea Written ©
Fool (Writing prompt)

Sapphire

 

She called me into the room and I knew that whatever she needed to say was important
All my life, anything that came out of her mouth was like gold to me
I would cherish every word
So this was no exception
Her face swelled with pride as she told me the story of how she paid for the ring herself
Imagine a hard working African-American woman from the South with an 8th grade education being prideful about something
A woman who’s lineage dates back over 11 THOUSAND years to ancestors from East Africa
And some of those were taken West to the docks of Virginia where she’d be born
Stolen like her heart
She’d proudly raise 4 kids on her own without complaint
Not to prove a point like she didn’t need a man, because that wasn’t her style
Independent before they thought about burning bra’s she exudes confidence
Her words are direct but heart as sweet as her pound cake
Not to mention her sweet potato pies.  Church goers could almost tell you better than I can but not really
See my grandmother has the spirit of life itself and not any life but a strong one
People she introduced me to would say that I have a wonderful woman for a grandmother
Then they would proceed to tell me things she’d done for them.
She was always giving of herself and her time
So when she gave me a sapphire ring encased in gold it brought tears to my eyes
Tears almost as blue as the gemstone itself
A family heirloom, she said “Your great grandfather’s birthday was in September, so I’m giving this to you.”
I stared at that ring like Frodo Baggins, NO my eyes were as big as Gollum’s when it was cleaned and its inner beauty was truly revealed.
I felt like a kid and her pride immediately was understood
A grown man when it was handed down and I felt like the same kid she took to the store that summer and bought a Matchbox car and track for my brother and I
I think she knew…somehow, she just had a feeling that I would have the same pride that she has for it and yet, my pride will never match hers when she bought it for his birthday back in 78
I was 5 then

KonciouSLea Written ©
A childhood memory (writing prompt day 2)

qWARantine

 

I am not Bat-man
I seek facts man
I seek facts man
We are at war

 
Face masks, wipes and aerosol’s the armor for a bomb that was dropped as the clock was the timer
We looked forward to 2019 behind us
The lion of March was muffled

 
I am not Bat-man
I seek facts man
I seek facts man
We are at war

 
I wish there was a bond of trust – denial plus many finger points and most of us never had a choice as the death-toll rises
This is a life that was placed before us
April will March to the same drum
I am not Bat-man. . . . .

© KonciouSLea Written at home

NaPoWriMo2020 2/30

Who am I?

 

…I am an adult with undiagnosed ADHD never requiring a pill
Always thinking, my mind runs the wheel in the cage repetitively yet resistant to the rubric that is written, fighting to get out that’s why my brain is encased within a skull.
Hard headed as a youth I was told that holding in my feelings would cause me to hurt someone that I really loved.
I never realized I was…really loved so I would run, finding construction sites with the sturdiest materials to place around a heart that has already been made of brick and mortar, topped with barbed wire and snipers see I was in my own prison.
A correctional officer with a bad attitude swinging the baton to break up a fight between me, myself and I, battered and bruised from the top of my head to my thighs…I can beat myself up really well.
So never get it confused, there is nothing a soul could do to me that I haven’t already done. You could never pull the wool over my eyes…I watched my back on the streets of Brooklyn where there is always a scheme and thought of a come up.  I will catch you before you take your 1st step.
I am the product of a “Beautiful Mind…” voices heard on the regular but didn’t hear mine until I was 29.  That embrace didn’t play out the way I thought it would…this is no Lifetime movie.  It’s no reenactment of an attachment felt from a distance of a latchkey kid because I never really had a key to call my own.
I am a cosmic metaphor where an abyss drowns out light so don’t try to find your way out.   I am the brightest star reflecting words which bounce from one electromagnetic brainwave to another leaving you in a convulsive type state.  Passed out and flatlined searching for the light again…I am the defibrillator.
CLEAR!

Once again like filtered water in the cleanest glass I am hydration for your soul like rain pouring on the head of a madman the laughter is invigorating because the freedom in this is as liberating as Pride day in NYC, liberating as a woman taking off her bra after a long day, liberating as a man watching another extension of himself in his grandchildren…liberating as baptism because although this seems new,

I am…a poet

KonciouSLea Written because I am…a conundrum.

NaPoWriMo2020 1/30

Show me a sign…

 

We talk verbally or otherwise in a space preoccupied

Yet I seek for just you and I

Life brings me here from time to time

The difference now is that I see the signs

Mistakes made remain mistakes made, but not without a price paid.

No scapegoat actually, just me to blame

Steps taken, indirections that I called my own without guidance or direction though never alone

A clear mind bringing a connection unknowingly beneficial but you showed me the how and I accepted though resistant

At first it’s like a rehearsal becoming habitual through repetition

Opening my mind like the galaxy to the probability of a productive existence

A productive existence was something unimagined through the suffocation and self flagellation through doubt that greatness could be attained

No matter what I felt, misstep taken or ill thought your presence remained

You are all I need to be saved yet here’s the ploy

“The revelation of a prayer answered must result in an aha moment or you will be destroyed.”

 

KonciouSLea and prayerfully written

Reevaluation

 

I know it’s been a while and though I’ve been writing and into other things…I know, I may have let you down.  These next posts are not in order to when I’ve written them.  I’ve been going through things and as promised, this is about my life.  I don’t know…I’ve spilled so much of my heart here that you either thing ‘poor guy’ or ‘this guy is really crazy.’  I am all of those I guess.  I’ve sacrificed so many relationships for the physical that it really is a shame and I feel ashamed.  I must move forward though for a better me.

So this next poem is about a relationship that I was in and shouldn’t have been in that ended…well, the way it needed to.  Take a read and leave comments.  I have to put WordPress back on my phone again.  I hope you enjoy.

 

They said that guys fuck girls half their age all the time

They don’t fall in love with them

So how is it that I can open myself up so emotionally?

Like Moses parting the Red Sea I should have seen it in the scrolls

A savage like myself she is and about that biz she, walked up like this was Mortal Kombat ripping my heart out

Leaving me standing there dazed and confused like a bowl smoked with deep conversation to follow

Damn.

Again I’m Mack truck blindsided guts all over this road called…lost

Whoa

So now I stare into this mirror like, what kinda man am I, as the stars spell Karma in the sky

I palms up, outstretched arms begging to rearrange them but no matter what I was

A M-A-R-K

Destined to feel this pain

Destined to regain a resolution to write some shit that will be felt for once in my chest that I reevaluate myself in the moment/s

This is real

A true Virgo she didn’t catch it as I asked her to access her inner cusper on the later end but see she’s Destined to be a Lion as I stare in this mirror like what kinda man am I?

To have compromised

Over what?

At this point, unsure feelings?

The cards of life dealing me deuces like gtfoh man you should know better

I argue like I knew what this was in my heart never really scratching this mirror with diamonds

Am I not a king?

Hm. Even Solomon had his issues and was favored…wasn’t he?

Why is it “that which I will to do, I do not?” Don’t let me get too deep

See this goes way back before I could read that verse and it plagued me

So I stand here in this mirror reevaluating lust and love

As Coffee by Miguel plays

Oh…the irony

 

KonciouSLea Written after looking in the mirror