I killed myself 131 days ago
The deceitfulness of denial reaking of dung could not be concealed any longer
The path is deeply embedded with fingernail marks on the way to the depths of hell representing the scars within
The slithering skin of shame is swathed in a cloak lined with wool and the itch is likened to the most poisonous ivy
My hands were bound yet it was a pain loathed and loved
Forgotten then returned to
The seemingly sweat from the steadfast struggle to escape is the swamp of the salivation rising to my neck
The hunger caused me to chew my tongue
Therefore I was eating myself from the inside
Does the butterfly go through pain during Metamorphosis?
Does a baby ache during gestation?
This was necessary for rebirth
There was no rethinking this one year ago
The yawn in the morning was enough to cramp the jaw
Contemplation and premeditation lead to an anticipation of an end result and I’m imagining a free flight
Without bondage of even my inner most thoughts
A dream of freedom
Not without admission
A telekinetic breaking of the chains release my feet and I begin my journey
Liberating myself from the saliva filled pool of self loathing and sorrow
So deep in the dark abyss that the air constricts the shortest of breathes
Gasps for air like releasing the seal of a mason jar after years of preservation
My greatest insecurity blanketed
The rub was the notion that this life was for me
I flew my ship toward the stars and plunged it into the sun
Flames satisfying the itch
Ever ignore a pain always there?
The pain is only there if acknowledged
I fly now, but never alone.